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February 29, 2012 11:34 am

The Five Best Quotes in Bloomberg’s Outrageous Banker Bonuses Story

abaldwin360:

Bloomberg’s Max Abelson, who’s carved out a fantastic beat providing Wall Street types with lengths of hangman’s rope, has anotherfantastic story today, this time about the tragic lives of bankers dealing with smaller bonus checks. (Spoiler alert: some of them have to do their dishes by hand.)

It’s a harrowing tale of discounted salmon and supermarket circulars, and you can and should read the whole thing to understand exactly why we need to set about one-fifth of New York City on fire. But just to give you a taste of the rage you will feel, here are five of our favorite moments:

5: [Law professor M. Todd Henderson] wrote two years ago that his family was “just getting by” on more than $250,000 a year […] “Yes, terminal diseases are worse than getting the flu,” he said. “But you suffer when you get the flu.”

4: “They have a circular that they leave in front of the buildings in our neighborhood,” said [Wall Street headhunter Daniel] Arbeeny, 49 […] “We sit there, and I look through all of them to find out where it’s worth going.”

3: “I can’t imagine what I’m going to do,” [Marketing Director Andrew] Schiff said. “I’m crammed into 1,200 square feet. I don’t have a dishwasher. We do all our dishes by hand.”

2: Arbeeny said his “income has gone down tremendously.” On a recent Sunday, he drove to Fairway Market in the Red Hook section of Brooklyn to buy discounted salmon for $5.99 a pound.

1: “People who don’t have money don’t understand the stress,” said Alan Dlugash, apartner at accounting firm Marks Paneth & Shron LLP in New York who specializes in financial planning for the wealthy.

source

If only they could comprehend how utterly ridiculous they sound.

  1. ethoxyethane reblogged this from dopamints and added:
    all sounds like lines from Ouran Highschool Host Club……..
  2. cangal reblogged this from religiousragings
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  4. doctorginger reblogged this from alieneye
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  6. alieneye reblogged this from abaldwin360
  7. shadyexcelsior reblogged this from thereisnolonger and added:
    This shit made my day complete, it’s too funny..Like they don’t give a single damn fuck that they’re too rich
  8. ashesaoirse reblogged this from choopacabra and added:
    I would spend the first year paying homeless people to take dumps all over Wall Street.
  9. thereisnolonger reblogged this from religiousragings and added:
    Reading this reminds me why I dread telling people I am going to work on Wall Street after college. such a bad image at...
  10. choopacabra reblogged this from ashesaoirse and added:
    That’s almost 700 bucks a day…...don’t even know what I would do with that much money.
  11. heyytherenadine reblogged this from religiousragings
  12. ashesaoirse reblogged this from abaldwin360 and added:
    I made this just to have some sort of appropriate response:
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  20. religiousragings reblogged this from abaldwin360 and added:
    Really worth reading all the way through. Some of the comments are jaw-dropping. ~ Steve
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  28. mindbabies reblogged this from abaldwin360 and added:
    If only they could comprehend how utterly ridiculous they sound.