Let me get this straight...

abaldwin360:

Bloomberg’s Max Abelson, who’s carved out a fantastic beat providing Wall Street types with lengths of hangman’s rope, has anotherfantastic story today, this time about the tragic lives of bankers dealing with smaller bonus checks. (Spoiler alert: some of them have to do their dishes by hand.)

It’s a harrowing tale of discounted salmon and supermarket circulars, and you can and should read the whole thing to understand exactly why we need to set about one-fifth of New York City on fire. But just to give you a taste of the rage you will feel, here are five of our favorite moments:

5: [Law professor M. Todd Henderson] wrote two years ago that his family was “just getting by” on more than $250,000 a year […] “Yes, terminal diseases are worse than getting the flu,” he said. “But you suffer when you get the flu.”

4: “They have a circular that they leave in front of the buildings in our neighborhood,” said [Wall Street headhunter Daniel] Arbeeny, 49 […] “We sit there, and I look through all of them to find out where it’s worth going.”

3: “I can’t imagine what I’m going to do,” [Marketing Director Andrew] Schiff said. “I’m crammed into 1,200 square feet. I don’t have a dishwasher. We do all our dishes by hand.”

2: Arbeeny said his “income has gone down tremendously.” On a recent Sunday, he drove to Fairway Market in the Red Hook section of Brooklyn to buy discounted salmon for $5.99 a pound.

1: “People who don’t have money don’t understand the stress,” said Alan Dlugash, apartner at accounting firm Marks Paneth & Shron LLP in New York who specializes in financial planning for the wealthy.

source

If only they could comprehend how utterly ridiculous they sound.